The Future Is Here...Sadly

For a while now I've been developing a science-fiction project about a group of anti-corporate space pirates called League of Space Pirates. The main enemy is a giant corporation that's basically taken over everything. A few years ago my friend Charlie Bonˆ©t, who is writing material for the project, decided to create some commercials for products that the corporation might sell. For various reasons we haven't been able to actually produce the commercials yet, though I did design some logos to go with the items. Just this past week I've discovered that two of what we thought were fairly over-the-top riffs on current trends turned out to not be very far off the mark, in depressingly eerily ways...

First up is Purple Stuff. Taking today's energy drinks to the next level by making it into something more like medication for low-energy kids. The idea was that the product got different qualities as it aged and so Purple Stuff that was past its expiration date became Purple Stuff PM, which would be used as the opposite of an energy drink to mellow out hyperactive kids. As it got even older, Purple Stuff could be used as a pesticide (among other things).























Then last week I heard a story on anti-energy drinks that mellowed you out. Apparently they were inspired by a drug combination that people are calling "purple drank". When I went to research it I found that an actual Purple Stuff drink is being produced as well! Admittedly we all got the name from this classic commercial.











Next up is Organetics. Charlie's idea was that the corporation would start producing genetically altered organic food (a clear contradiction, that seemed amusing yet not entirely implausible).





So imagine my dismay when I recently got an invitation to a conference ominously called "Green BioPharma". Touted as "the first conference to address organization-wide sustainability strategies for life science companies." it's not exactly Organetics, but it certainly has a frighteningly similar ring.


Needless to say, it's back to the drawing board for these two products, but hopefully we won't be hearing about our other product idea any time soon: a memory stick that you actually stick into your body!